The Top 14 Signs Your Pet Is Addicted to the Internet

14. Your "cookies" folder is almost empty, but there are countless files in "treats."
13. There are a lot more tongue marks on the monitor than the ones *you've* left.
12. The desktop wallpaper is now a close-up of Paris Hilton. Specifically, her right leg.
11. Run the can opener; nothing.
    Say, "Badger! Badger! Badger!"; Mittens runs to you like a cheetah on crack.
10. Well, *somebody* has been using your computer to visit MySpays.com.
9. The computer's motherboard just whelped a litter.
8. The cat dies of Corrupted Blood Plague.
7. Rover refuses to catch anything but AOL installation CDs.
6. No matter how often you update your Netflix queue, they always send you another batch of Lassie episodes.
5. The canary will only fly in wi-fi enabled airspace.
4. "Hello, Mr. Fluffy. I am writing to you in the confidential strictness to ask you assistance in gratefully retrieving my families estate in Nigeria."
3. Your female iguana's eyes are always bloodshot and your browser history shows thousands of visits to GEICO.
2. Your goldfish IMs you to change the damn tank filter.

   and the Number 1 Sign Your Pet Is Addicted to the Internet...

1. He keeps looking in the mirror and squawking "L33ty Bird!" "L33ty Bird!"